Plan For Death On Your Terms
Why consider a plan for death?!
Historically, many Americans avoid talking about death. Yet it is an unavoidable part of life—just like birth, aging, and taxes.
Fortunately, attitudes are changing. More people now recognize the value of preparing for the end of life. Like planning for a child’s arrival, we can plan for a more peaceful transition.
Of course, timing is uncertain. Accidents happen, and illness can strike without warning. As the COVID-19 showed, loved ones can be taken unexpectedly.
However, for those who have forewarning, such as comes with the diagnosis of a terminal illness, a plan for a good death can be created and put into action.
Engaging The Services Of A Death Doula to Plan for Death
For decades, many women have hired birth doulas to support them through pregnancy, delivery, and early motherhood. A death doula offers similar support at the end of life.
Death doulas take a holistic approach and are trained to focus on the physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual aspects of death.
Death doulas do not provide medical care. Healthcare professionals handle those needs. Instead, a death doula focuses on emotional and practical support. Their goal is to make the end-of-life experience more peaceful and meaningful. They help shift it from fear and discomfort to one filled with connection and lasting memories.
Some death doulas work alongside hospice care. While some have medical training, it is not their primary role. They guide patients and families in defining what a “good death” means to them. Then they help create an environment that supports those wishes.
What A Good Death Looks Like Varies From One Person To Another
For some, a “good death” means being surrounded by family. For others, it may mean quiet time with a few loved ones. Each person defines this experience differently. A death doula helps individuals explore what matters most and plan for it.
Death doulas also guide families through the dying process. This process can take longer than expected and often feels confusing. Education and support can ease that uncertainty.
Many resources explain the services death doulas provide.
I’ve included a helpful link at the end of this article.
Here are a few additional services they may offer:
- Suggesting ideas for optimal comfort, including giving massages, holding hands, etc.
- Working on legacy projects with the dying, like writing letters to loved ones, taking family photos, creating gifts, writing down life experiences, etc.
- Offering consistent presence during the final days, easing any fear or anxiety that the dying person may feel and allowing family to take much-needed breaks.
- Encouraging the dying to take care of estate planning such as completing a will
- If the family wants, a doula can help plan a funeral or memorial service or provide grief support.
Take Care Of Estate Planning
I was delighted to find out that death doulas do encourage the terminally ill to take care of estate planning if they have not yet done so. This is such a wonderful opportunity to help people tie up the loose ends of their lives. I think as a society we are getting more comfortable planning for our deaths as much as we plan for the arrival of a child. We are finally understanding that this last act can be beautiful.
Resource:
https://www.funeralbasics.org/everything-you-need-to-know-about-death-doulas/
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